Well, well, well. It's been far too long since I last wrote a blog. To be honest, I gave up on this blog completely and wanted to start a new one about politics, life etc. bla bla. But, me being ever true to form, broke my laptop and that never happened. But now I'm sat in a hostel in Seoul trying to lull myself to sleep. So I figured I'd bore myself sh*tless with my own writing to try and help. And me being the ever sharing, caring person I am, decided to drag you all down with me with my notes!
I'll just speed you up-to-date quickly, as no-one can ever keep up with where I am and what I'm doing (including myself). Last time I wrote, I was stuck in the arsehole of nowhere in the Australian bush and was working harder than a Syrian undertaker. Now I'm in the capital of South Korea working as hard as a vegetarian butcher. How did I end up in Korea? Long story short; during my travels, I've met plenty of people from Korea and I liked them so much I decided I'd go to their homeland and see what the crack is. Thus far, I have not been disappointed!
The first thing that springs to mind when people say 'Korea' is North Korea. Those lovely people in the North that have given Communism as good as name as Josef Stalin himself. I could sit here right now and tell you all how I am dodging Russian-made Katyushas (missiles to those that don't know!) every day. How I single handedly fended off ten human waves of bloodthirsty North Korean warlords, whilst I was armed with only an umbrella and a copy of the Sunday Times. But, I'm sorry to tell you, the truth is a lot more tame than that. As is always the case with travelling, you see a country is just normal people going about their everyday lives. Don't get me wrong though, South Korea is the dogs bollocks.
I must admit though, going from the 30 degrees beaches of Sydney to the ball achingly cold mountains of Asia was a big shock to the system. Luckily my quarter-Austrian, hairy bastard side kicked in and I've adapted well to the cold. In fact, I've now come to realise that I'm definitely a mountains and snow man over sunshine and beaches, although I wouldn't kick the latter out of bed! A bigger shock to my system, than the cold, was the Korean's attitudes to motorbikes and where they should be driven. In Korea, a motorbike has more rights than a pedestrian. It's not out of the ordinary to be stood at the traffic lights with a pizza delivery ped to your right and some Korean, Hells Angels wannabe to your left. Coming from a country with the biggest Health and Safety Nazis in the world, it's actually quite refreshing to come to a country where people don't give a toss. Although I do hold my breath and pray to God everytime I have to walk past a building site.
I've also found my favourite foreign food, by a country mile. Korean food is the unsung hero of the food world. England seriously needs to wake up to this spicy orgasm on your tongue. I will cry when I return home and can't get myself some kimchi jun. Ah kimchi. Kimchi to Koreans is like tea to English people. Even more so I might say. I actually think their body depends on it for survival. If a Korean doesn't have kimchi for 6 days, then they will collapse on the spot and be taken straight to the morgue. What is kimchi? Kimchi is traditionally fermented cabbage that is left in pots in the ground for a long time. Essentially, it is mouldy cabbage. I'm not exactly salesman of the year here, am I? Well trust me, it's amazing. I can't eat rice without it now. But if you're not a fan of out-of-date cabbage, then worry not. For Korea is the proud owner of the best chicken in the world. When my Korean friend told me this, I shooed it off as another patriotic man boasting his country has the best this and that. But it turns out, the man lies not! There is no such thing as dry chicken here. It's amazing. I soon found out that one reason behind this, is that there is a University course on raising chickens! These people seriously don't mess about.
There's a good night life scene here too. I will post you up some drunken tales soon enough. But today I thought I'd just set the scene a bit. This is my first blog post in over half a year, so my writing is as rusty as a sunken ship. I can't even bring myself to read over the post as I know I will probably not be happy with it and delete it all! So apologies to the grammar Gestapo for the horrendous grammatical errors!
Anywho, sorry it's been so long since writing. To be honest, I want to focus my writing skills in another area now. But that's for another time! Over and out.
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